


Are You Really Asking Me That?

by Feeling_Super_Super_Super



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blind Date, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Mermista/Sea Hawk (She-Ra), Panic Attacks, and then my brain's like boom now catra's having a panic attack, but people are in the wrong place for logistic reasons and/or The Aesthetic, i swear this wasn't supposed to be angst, it was supposed to be a lighthearted date scenario and an excuse for a double trouble cameo, it's somewhere in s3 before they create the portal, re-tagging it for the new chapter, this doesn't really fit into canon neatly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:20:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25165321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feeling_Super_Super_Super/pseuds/Feeling_Super_Super_Super
Summary: Surely a blind date - unarmed and vulnerable, outside of a battlefield, simply two girls having dinner together - would be a perfect opportunity for Catra and Adora to work through their issues once and for all?
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 52





	1. Sad-Distracted-Lonely

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in 3 days after a burst of inspiration which is quite possibly the fastest I've ever written and wow, I did not know it was possible for a plot to so quickly develop into something else. I had a whole plan for the third chapter with awkward first date banter and hopefully a fluffy ending but then suddenly Catra started having a panic attack and I swear I had no idea how that happened. But it did and now there's angst so my bad lol

Catra perched on the edge of a pile of machinery and held onto the railing behind her, her claws digging into the cold metal. She surveyed the landscape before her – the cavernous spaces full of clanking pipes that she had spent so much of her life scampering over, many bearing visible claw-marks. So much had changed since those carefree childhood days playing with Ador— shit, she wasn’t going to think about her.

God was that hard, though. Between planning battles with Adora and her annoying princess friends, trying to win back Hordak’s favour and convince him to let her open the portal, and Scorpia and Entrapta pestering her with the former’s relentless _niceness_ and attempts at friendship and the latter’s… whatever that girl had going on… Catra had barely a moment to think for herself that her brain didn’t take as an opportunity to throw confusing thoughts about her former friend into her psyche.

She dug further into the rail below her in an effort to distract herself from her emotional turmoil, but splitting her focus turned out not to be wise, and her grip ended up slipping from the railing entirely. Her tail came loose and she teetered on the edge, ready to fall into the abyss – suddenly another image of Adora smiling popped into her mind and she was thrown just off-balance, and fell from the pile into the space below…

And was caught the freakishly strong purple hair of Entrapta. Catra resisted the urge to snap at the girl for sneaking up on her, as she was pulled up on top of the pipe, yet neither did she give more than an almost imperceptible mumble of thanks. Entrapta seemed unfazed by this as usual and set her down gently as she prepared what Catra was sure would be as insufferable a torrent on her ears as usual.

“Catra!” she shrieked, and Catra sighed with the exasperation of one who wishes she hadn’t been right about something. “I wanted to practise reading people’s facial expressions like Scorpia has been teaching me, so I’ve been following you for a couple of hours now.”

“Not creepy at all,” Catra muttered under her breath.

While a strand of her hair rifled through the princess’s pockets and brought out some pieces of paper, Entrapta continued, seeming not to have heard Catra’s remark, “According to my flashcards, you look either sad, distracted or lonely. Which one is it?”

With a histrionic sigh, Catra looked Entrapta directly in the eye. “First of all, if you’re going to be creepy and weird you can at least do me the courtesy of pretending not to be. Second of all, that’s really not the kind of question people ask each other, and if you have to, there’s a lot more tactful ways of doing it. And third of all, I don’t just have one single emotion at a time. It’s… it’s kind of all three right now,” she finished, more softly than she had started out. Deciding she ought to head back inside to meet with Hordak, she set off in the direction she came, not waiting to see if the purple-haired princess was following her.

“Oh, sorry! I’ll have to add that to my notes, then,” Entrapta responded cheerfully. “Mind if I sketch your face for the flashcard?”

Catra shot her a frustrated look, and two strands of hair apologetically shot out. “Don’t worry, I remember what you looked like. You won’t need to pose for me or anything!” she added with that annoying screechy laugh of hers. They continued walking in silence. Then, after a moment, appearing to have just remembered, Entrapta said, “What’s making you sad-distracted-lonely, Catra?”

Catra looked quickly around, checking that nobody was nearby, and then back at Entrapta. Her eyebrows creased and she searched the other girl’s face, trying to discern any sign of manipulation, to work out what she was up to. But she saw nothing but genuine concern. Could Entrapta really just want to talk to Catra about her problems? And, more importantly, did Catra really think she could open up to her? Finally she shook her head, biting the inside of her lip, and turned away. “It’s nothing you need to worry about,” she said, keeping her voice hard. “You have anything else to say?”

“Oh, yes I do!” Entrapta replied. “Scorpia was sad because of a girl that she had a crush on, but she didn’t think liked her back. And I remembered seeing her at the Princess Prom, so I thought maybe the way to make her happy was for her to go on a date like that one! Then I thought maybe a lot of people would like to go on dates, so I decided to create a program matching compatible people to go on dates – anonymously, because it would be a shame if someone from the Horde couldn’t go because they matched up with someone from the Rebellion or vice versa, and —”

Catra whirled around to face Entrapta and put up a hand to cut her monologuing short. “Hold on, you mean you’re setting princesses up on dates with Horde members? Where they could get valuable intel about our operations?” Catra asked, her teeth bared.

“Well, I didn’t think about it that way,” the other girl said meekly. “Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to join?”

Jesus, this girl was dense. “Did you not hear what I _just_ said? That’s such a breach of our security, you have to shut it down right away.”

Fiddling with a hair that fell down her face, Entrapta looked away and said, “I can’t. I already sent it to Bow and he’s set up almost a dozen accounts among the princesses, and even a few with the gangs from the Crimson Waste. But it’s not a problem, because the Rebellion is just as likely to leak information to us as we are to them, aren’t they? So it all balances out!”

Catra was caught off-guard for a moment, she hadn’t thought of that. She was vaguely aware that Entrapta was saying something about finding a neutral area for the dates and some sort of security? She didn’t care enough to pay much attention but it seemed like a fight breaking out wouldn’t be much of an issue. So, Catra reluctantly admitted, there really wasn’t much reason that she could see not to allow it – heck, even try it out herself. Worst case scenario, she just didn’t get any matches and wouldn’t let it bother her any more, and if she were lucky she might be able to distract herself from thinking about Adora, at least for a night. “Screw it,” she said to herself, and then to Entrapta, “Sign me up.”

Leaving a grinning Entrapta outside, she pushed open the doors to Hordak’s sanctum. She noticed a movement in the corner of her eye, and when she turned around to see what Entrapta was doing, the princess had disappeared. Whatever, it wasn’t like that was surprising. She strode inside to greet Hordak, ignoring the tiny voice that questioned why Entrapta wasn’t staying to work on the portal with him like they had almost every day lately.

* * *

For the second time in her life, Catra admired herself in the mirror dressed in something approaching formal attire. Scorpia had delighted in the opportunity to give her a makeover in preparation for her date that evening, opting once again to put her in a suit, albeit this time switching up the colour palette from her usual blacks and reds to a softer blue-oriented pair of waistcoat and leggings, with a little yellow bow in her hair added by Entrapta at the last minute. Catra had resisted, but Scorpia promised that her mystery date would love the new look.

In fact, Catra thought as she flexed her muscles through the soft silk sleeves of the waistcoat, she wouldn’t be the only one. Perhaps she should start wearing this to battle. It was certainly loose-fitting enough that she could wear it comfortably in a fight, and she would love to see how Ador— shit, she’d done it again. Bad kitty, she thought with a mirthless laugh, you gotta stop thinking about goddamn Adora!

Her mind raced to focus on something else, and landed at last on Entrapta. The princess had been acting weird – well, at least more weird than usual. When Catra had asked her yesterday about setting up a date with the girl she’d been chatting with over Entrapta’s program (who was being exactly as careful as she was to not reveal any identifying information; she didn’t even know which side of the war her date was on), she had been surprised that Catra even knew about the app, let alone wanted to set up a date through it.

“You told me about it like a week and a half ago!” Catra had responded, gesticulating with a clawed hand. “Remember? I was outside on a railing, you caught me when I fell off and told me about the app after you asked me about my facial expressions?”

“Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask you about that! I can’t tell the difference between your sad, distracted and lonely faces.”

Melodramatically dragging her palm down her face, she said, “We’ve had this exact conversation before, princess. Just – go and check if I’m signed up on the stupid app if you don’t believe me.”

“Oh, that’s weird,” said Entrapta, who was holding a tracker pad with her hair and had been checking it while Catra spoke. “It says here that you are signed up —”

“Thank you!”

“— but I don’t remember doing it,” Entrapta continued firmly. “Well I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about! Probably just me being forgetful.”

Catra couldn’t help but feel like there was something more going on, but she pushed it aside, having plenty more important things on her mind. “So can you schedule me a date?”

“Sure!” Entrapta said cheerfully. “I’ve got a free slot tomorrow night, I’ll give you that one.”

With Scorpia’s help, she was all dolled up for the date the next night, and Scorpia was driving her in a Horde submarine to where Sea Hawk would pick her up and escort her to the venue, some underwater place called the Enchanted Grotto (“It’s a fancy establishment run by a couple of well-to-do pirates,” Scorpia had explained. “It’s got a ‘don’t bother us and we won’t bother you’ type of environment there so it’s good for, like, shady deals on neutral ground.”).

As soon as she arrived, she found the table laid out for her and sat down. She was the first to arrive, judging by the empty seat opposite, but she didn’t have to wait long. A few minutes later she saw one of the ushers directing a girl who looked about her age towards Catra. She was wearing a pretty, close-fitting red dress with a black leather jacket wrapped around her shoulders, and her blonde hair was done up in a high ponytail with a red hair pin stuck through it. Wait, she recognised that hairstyle. Her mind flashed with memories of the Princess Prom, of Catra in a similar suit to this one, dancing with a girl whose hair looked just like that – oh. This night just got interesting.

Her date sat opposite her and patted her dress down against her lap, not yet having looked up at Catra. When she finally did so, Catra tilted her head to the side, her eyes flashing, and lazily drawled, “Hey, Adora.”


	2. And I Didn't Wanna Let Go

“Catra?” Adora almost yelled, aware of the heads turning to face her with irritated confusion at the interruption. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Resting her leg on the edge of the table in front of her, Catra idly checked her nails and smirked, replying, “Same thing as you, princess. Entrapta signed me up for her weird date thing and,  _ apparently,  _ I’ve spent the last week talking to you. Go figure, I guess.”

Adora let out a long groan. She had just wanted a break from the Crimson Waste, from worrying about Mara’s warning and the portal and whether she could trust Huntara and everything else that was happening, but instead she had gotten… this. A set-up, she had to assume. Catra must be planning something, and she’d have to spend yet another ‘fun event on neutral ground’ trying to work out her plan in time to prevent it.

“Why did Bow even approve of letting us go on dates between princesses and Horde soldiers anyway?” she said in frustration, out loud but to herself.

Catra chuckled, “I said the same thing to Entrapta, but really what’s the issue? She’s got security in case a fight breaks out, and besides, I’m certainly not intending to start one. Are you?”

“… no,” Adora pouted. “But do you really expect me to believe that you aren’t? Just – ugh, if I was gonna get a Horde soldier, why did it have to be you?”

This seemed to get Catra’s attention, judging by the way she moved her foot off the table and sat up a little straighter. Good, Adora thought.

After a bit of a pause, Catra finally said, “Who were you hoping for?” in a voice that… wasn’t sarcastic. Adora paused. Was Catra really asking her that?

“To be honest, I wanted Glimmer, but I don’t think she’s even used the app,” Adora replied, opting to match Catra’s earnest tone. “If you mean out of the Horde, I’d prefer Lonnie or Scorpia, I suppose.”

Catra looked almost crestfallen at that revelation. Adora hadn’t realised that she cared so much about this. Maybe she was telling the truth, and she really did just want to have a nice date with a girl. Adora realised that she was probably making things awkward by not speaking, but she was lost in thought considering whether to actually indulge in this. Luckily, she was interrupted by the arrival of their waiter.

“Good evening girls, my name is Illyra and I will be your waiter tonight,” said the waiter in a mellow baritone voice, who was balancing an obscene number of plates on their limbs and tail. “A rosé for you, kitten,” they said, flicking a glass towards Catra, who caught it between two claws. “And I think something a little hotter will suit the lovely lady who left a sword at the door.” Another short juggling act later, they produced a bottle with a faded label and a couple of small glasses to match. With a wink in Adora’s direction, Illyra placed them in front of her and glided away across the ballroom.

As soon as Catra noticed what Adora had been served, she burst out laughing. Adora frowned at her, still not sure exactly what drink she had been served or why it was so funny. “Oh my god,” Catra wheezed between laughs, “The waiter took a single look at you and served you fucking  _ tequila _ ? Remind me to thank them for  _ that _ mental image later.” Adora scowled and began to pour from the bottle into one of the glasses, filling it up to about halfway.

“Wait, wait, Adora. Give me a second, I wanna record this. You don’t know what this is, do you? Oh man, this is gonna be so good,” Catra said, still with tears in her eyes. She brought out a small device, one that looked like a miniature version of the tracker pads she knew both Bow and Entrapta used. As soon as it was in position, held out in gingerly in front of her, Catra nodded to Adora and gestured at her to take a shot. Bringing the glass to her lips, she threw it down as quickly as possible, and as soon as the harsh flavour hit her she immediately regretted that decision.

She tried to blink away the tears that welled up in response to the acrid taste of the liquid pouring down her throat, while Catra descended once more into a fit of giggles. After a few moments, they both managed to recover, and Catra nudged her rosé towards Adora. “Have a sip,” she offered. “It should take the edge off the tequila. That was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen, by the way. I am so sending this to your princess friends to make fun of you with.” Adora stuck her tongue out at the last remark, but gratefully took a swig of the drink.

“Hey, not that much!” Catra protested, and Adora reluctantly slid the glass back to her date. “That jacket looks good on you, by the way,” she added softly.

Desperately fighting back the blush that was sure to be spreading across her cheek, Adora quietly said, “Oh, um, thanks, I guess. So does your suit.” As Catra flashed her a genuine smile of the type she hadn’t seen since before she switched sides, she took a closer look at the other girl’s outfit, and realised she actually meant that. “Blue really suits you, actually. Why did you stop wearing it?”

Catra sniggered. “Don’t you remember the time Kyle had those muscle spasms? He kept spilling his ration bars on me, and it showed up way less on my red overalls than the blue ones, so I had to wear them for like two weeks straight.”

“Oh yeah! I remember Lonnie and Rogelio beating him up when he got some on them while they were making out in the shower.”

“Oh dear god, don’t remind me of when those two tried to pretend they were straight,” Catra groaned. “That was torture.” She leaned back, clearly comfortable in her seat, and took a sip of her wine. “Eurgh,” she exclaimed, her lips curling in disgust. “You got your tequila flavour mixed in with my drink! Can we get our waiter back, I need some food to cleanse my palate now.”

Again miraculously right on cue, Adora noticed Illyra coming out of the kitchen with two steaming hot plates in their hands. She waved them over and they floated towards their table.

“Excuse me, we’d like to order our —” Adora was cut off by Illyra reaching over Catra to place a plate down in front of her, then the other in front of Adora. “For you, darlings, and I’ll happily replace both of your drinks. Enjoy!” they proclaimed.

“Hey, hold on! We haven’t even ordered yet,” Catra said, grasping the waiter’s arm. “How do you even – ooh, this looks really good. What is it?”

“One salmon fillet with garlic and lemon dressing, and one 8-ounce sirloin steak, medium rare, with a side of fries, plus a salad for each of you. Bon appetit!”

Adora smirked as she could see Catra’s mouth watering, knowing that she had less experience with real, non-ration-bar food, and quietly said, “Go ahead and eat.” With the shortest of looks up at Adora, she began to furiously tuck into the fish, wolfing it down as though she hadn’t eaten in days – which, for all Adora knew, she might not have. Adora looked up to thank Illyra for the meals, but they had once again slithered away. Shrugging, she decided to follow suit.

“God, how did they know what we’d like?” Catra mumbled, panting, between mouthfuls. “This is  _ so good _ . I haven’t had fish since we got stuck besieging Salineas and oh my  _ god _ have I missed this.”

Adora chuckled while she carefully tore off strips of her steak, dipping them into some sauce she didn’t recognise. “The better question is why is there only ever one waiter in the room with us?”

She watched as Catra’s eyes scanned the room, and finally landed back on her. “Oh yeah, you’re right! Haha, maybe it’s all the same person.”

“What, are you suggesting they can shapeshift? I’ve seen different waiters so they’d have to be able to.”

“Predicting favourite foods  _ and  _ shapeshifting? That’s gotta be one hell of a résumé for a waiter,” Catra mused as she chewed on a piece of lettuce. “Maybe I should hire them to spy on you.” 

“Not if I hire them first,” Adora shot back gleefully, enjoying their lapse into the playful, sarcastic banter she was familiar with.

With a soft  adorable giggle and that  cute scrunch of her nose that Adora recognised well, Catra said, “Hold on, you don’t even know if their skills are for sale.”

Right at that moment, a different waiter, who had been serving the table next to theirs, came past behind Catra’s chair, placed a glass of wine in front of her and whispered just loud enough for the two of them to hear, “Oh believe me, I am.”

That earned a whoop in delight from Adora at being proved right about both her ‘shapeshifting’ theory and the waiter being available. When Catra responded by teasingly sticking out her tongue, Adora did the same, and in retaliation the other girl sneaked a chip from her plate. Almost reflexively, Adora latched onto her wrist to keep it from leaving the plate, and Catra tilted her head, manoeuvred her hand so that it was resting in Adora’s palm instead of her wrist, and said, “Aww, you wanna hold hands? You just have to ask, babe.” This set the waiter off tittering, and Adora’s attention snapped back to them.

“Alright, funny guy,” she smirked at the waiter. “How much do you want?”

They seemed to ponder for a second, then said, “Just one will do.” While Adora was trying to puzzle that one out, they winked, spun on their heels, and another waiter was across the room serving drinks to a family of four.

Adora turned back to Catra, who was dipping a slice of fish into a red sauce with her free hand, while the other’s fingers were still threaded through her own. She looked between Catra’s face and their intertwined fingers, and Catra simply shrugged and said, “What? You didn’t take your hand away, and I didn’t wanna let go.” Adora felt her cheeks turn as bright red as the sauce Catra was wiping off her lips, and quickly released her date’s hand, placing her own awkwardly on her lap.


	3. Are you really asking me that?

Catra was lucky that Adora was, as usual, oblivious enough not to notice her gaze skating across her date’s features while she ate, trying to work out exactly what the blonde was thinking. She was embarrassed, that much was obvious, but Catra couldn’t tell at what – whether she was thinking through this date as carefully as Catra herself was, or whether it was something simpler. She noticed that the other girl had kept her hands still on her lap since she let go of her own, and suddenly worried that she had been too forward. The warmth of Adora’s hand in hers was comforting, she admitted to herself, and she wasn’t lying when she said she didn’t want to move away. Was that what had Adora freaking out?

If so, what about it was she thinking about? Was she psychoanalysing Catra’s movements, her actions, the way Catra was of her? Or was it about the contact – was she, god forbid, ashamed that she might have been enjoying the sensation of their touch as much as Catra was? The thought of that sent tremors down her spine, and Catra regretted the thought as soon as it had formed in her subconscious. She had spent so much time and effort eliminating that rush of blood every time she heard her nemesis’s name, the fucking  _ weakness _ she felt every time her face appeared in her brain. And now she was going to throw that all away, all that hard work wasted, just because of one stupid dinner, just because Adora held her hand for a couple of  _ fucking _ seconds? How pathetic could she get?

As the blood rushed to her head, pounding inside her skull, she considered just getting up and leaving right then, to clear her head outside and get a fucking grip on her feelings about Adora, but just as she was about to make to leave, the girl looked up at her and  _ goddamn,  _ her pleading, knowing eyes brought her right back. Her icy blue gaze pierced through the heat in her cheeks, the weight on her chest, the throbbing in her head, and it all dissipated at once.

“Are you okay?”

Catra blinked away the fog that was invading her brain, and replied, “Uh, yeah, I’m fine. What were you saying?”

Adora shook her head and put her hands over Catra’s wrists. “No, I’m serious. You looked like you were having a panic attack there. Is something wrong?”

“I told you,” Catra said with more force than she intended, “I’m fine.”

“Catra, can you please stop being self-sabotaging for one second and  _ listen _ to me? Panic attacks are serious, I thought I was going to die the first time I had one. What set it off?” Adora asked. She had stood up now, and made her way over to the other side of the table, attempting to put her arm around the other girl.

Catra pushed it off with a shaking hand and turned away. “Are you really asking me that?” she asked with a sarcastic laugh. “Wait, let me guess. You wanna know so you’ll be able to make me so weak I can barely stand up again next time we have to fight.”

“No, I—”

“Are you sure?” she cut Adora off with a sneer. “Wouldn’t you  _ love _ to know that you can get me weak and helpless and  _ fucking pathetic _ just by fucking touching my hand? That I’m so starved for attention from you, Miss fucking Perfect, that you can reduce me to a sick, pathetic mess just at the thought that you didn’t want to touch me.”

Adora stopped nursing her rebuffed hand and levelled her gaze at the other girl once again. Catra knew she was on the verge of tears as she spoke. As soon as she finished speaking, she began throwing back the replacement drink the waiter had brought, choking down the wine to avoid breaking down even further in front of her date, only stopping when she felt the now-familiar scales of Illyra’s tail tap her shoulder, and turned around to see them serving her a much-needed hot chocolate. She offered them a weak smile of gratitude, but saw no emotion on their face, and they quickly disappeared again, leaving her alone with Adora once more.

Adora, who was still trying to get her to open up to her. “Is – is that what you think that was?”

Catra let out a barking laugh at that. “How could you expect me not to? Look, I’m sorry for touching you, for getting my Horde cooties on you or whatever. I didn’t know you hated it so much. Can I leave now?”

“Catra, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise…”

“Realise what?” she asked, turning to Adora and staring her down. “That I – that I care what you think? That I might possibly have some vested attachment to the girl who was my best friend for _fifteen fucking years_? Yeah, who’d have guessed?”

“Oh yeah,” Adora countered, “because you show it so often, don’t you? What with all that capturing and attacking me, and leading the armies that are trying to kill my friends, it really shows you care.”

Catra felt her tongue move between her teeth as she bit back an expletive or two. “God Adora, you’re  _ such _ an idiot! Why do you think I do it? Why do you think, after years of slacking off, after years of being told by everyone – including you – that I was useless, I was a waste of a soldier, because I didn’t care about the cause in the goddamn slightest. And then I suddenly care about leading the Horde, I’m invested in it, after, what? A pep talk and a change of heart? When will you get it through your thick skull, that everything I do revolves around you? Every battle, every suggestion I make to Hordak, everything. I mean, I even let Shadow Weaver escape because I thought you would have forgiven her, you would have wanted me to do one nice thing for her.”

Adora tutted and said, Catra assumed to herself, “So that’s how she got out,” and Catra’s eyes grew wide.

“What did you just say?” she asked, suddenly fearing the worst. Adora knew? “How the hell did you know that?”

Adora seemed to realise her mistake, and put a hand over mouth in – what? Shock? Pity? Did she know that Catra had fallen out of Hordak’s favour? “She – Shadow Weaver came to Bright Moon. She’s dying, Catra.”

Catra felt the blood rush to her head but fought it off, focusing the panic into anger at Adora. “What. Did. She. Tell. You?” she asked, keeping her voice low and steady.

“N-nothing. She told us about Hordak’s plan to open a portal, and – and that I’m a First One.”

She couldn’t tell whether the emotion that flooded through her chest was relief or pain – after all, one never came without the other these days. It erupted out of her as a cackle. “So nothing about me then? Typical,” she said, sinking into the familiar comfort of indignation. “Of course you’re a First One! That makes perfect goddamn sense. No wonder that woman never spared more than a glance towards me, no wonder she set you up as special and threw me aside to fend for myself. I hope she fucking perishes.”

Adora stood up, and Catra tensed up, waiting for her to make a move. Instead, she swallowed thickly, a loose blonde hair brushing against her exposed throat. “Catra, I healed her.”

That’s when Catra felt something snap inside her, and she stood up to face Adora, grabbed her wrist and pushed it onto the table. “That’s it,” she said. “I’m done. I can’t do it anymore. I can’t deal with you, you think you’re some kind of saviour for me but clearly I’m less important than the woman who had me crying every goddamn night! She spends fifteen years telling me I’m worthless, I should just quit, I’m just a nuisance she kept around because you wanted someone around to feel better about yourself. And still, she becomes your best fucking friend before I do. Don’t ever pretend to care about me, Adora, because we both know you never did.”

“Catra, it’s not like that,” Adora protested weakly, squirming against her grip. “I didn’t want you around just to feel better, I wanted you around because I cared about you, I wanted to protect you from her!”

Another cackle rose out of Catra’s chest, a wave of bile threatening to follow it. “See, you and Shadow Weaver are both the same. ‘I wanted to protect you’, ‘I wanted to make you strong’, whatever. None of it’s true. What you  _ want _ is someone you can manipulate, someone who’ll never leave you. Well, guess what?” She let go of Adora’s wrist, forcing it away from her, and picked up her wine glass and the mug of hot chocolate. “I’m leaving. I’m done with both of you. And I’m taking the drinks.”

As she stormed off, she dimly heard a cry of “Catra, wait!” from behind her, but kept walking, trying to keep it together until she was out of sight of Adora. Her claws gripped tightly on the cups, so tightly that she thought for a moment that they would break, but then she was at the elevator and it was closing behind her and Adora couldn’t see her here and it was  _ over _ . She carefully set down the drinks in a corner of the elevator, sunk to the floor in the opposite corner, and gave in to the racking sobs that were ready to consume her, until she was lying on the cold metal floor, trembling and gasping for breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might write a fourth chapter from Adora's POV where she (presumably) follows after Catra but it won't be for a good few days, writing all this really burnt me out. Also idk if I can trust myself not to make it even more angsty if I did.


	4. And I Won't Pull Away

When the elevator finally opened, seemingly centuries later, Catra wiped away the most obvious of her tears and trudged out towards the boat that was to be her ride back to the Fright Zone – and found Sea Hawk sucking face with the mermaid princess. Like, they were seriously going at it, up against the side of a boat, hands on each other’s bodies.

They broke apart as soon as they saw Catra approaching, and, suppressing a laugh, she said, “Don’t let me stop you,” and leaned back next to them on the boat, only half paying attention to their conversation.

Sea Hawk had turned crimson, and apologetically turned to his girlfriend, saying, “Darling, I believe the date has ended.”

The princess – Mermista, Catra thought she was called? – was blushing profusely, much to Catra’s amusement despite herself, and, also facing Sea Hawk, said, “Catra? You brought _Catra_?”

“Yes, Bow and Entrapta said they’d gotten some Horde soldiers to sign up for their blind date thing, and they needed a trustworthy chaperone to take them here from the dock up by Erelandia, so they asked me,” said Sea Hawk, looking unreasonably proud of himself.

“I _know_ that,” Mermista replied through gritted teeth, running a hand through her hair. “I agreed to the same thing you did.”

“So what’s the issue?”

“Because I was bringing Adora, which means they were going on a date together, which means they’re going to have to be on a boat together.”

“Well, what’s the issue? They just went on a date, aren’t they supposed to want to share a nice, cosy cabin in a boat on the way back?”

“Yes, but they came out separately, which means the date clearly didn’t go well. And now we’re gonna have to take them both in mine, since you’ve set your boat on fire.”

“Hey, you know that’s not fair! Entrapta told me these boats were disposable and I was allowed to set them on fire!”

That elicited another quiet chuckle from Catra. Was that what Entrapta was doing with the Fright Zone’s scrap metal?

Tuning back in, she heard Mermista say, “Ugh, this is gonna be _so awkward_ ,” and, figuring that she’d lost the argument, followed the two inside the boat. Mermista silently directed her to a cabin and headed back outside – to fetch Adora, Catra guessed.

* * *

Adora was still in her seat when Mermista came to collect her, pulling her away from the remaining food with a “Come on, Adora, don’t be pathetic.” Adora had resisted, not wanting to face the world after that disastrous attempt to connect with her old best friend, but succumbed to the threat to leave her here.

How had the date gone so wrong? She’d tried to talk to Catra, comfort her after what looked like a serious panic attack, but she’d just been rejected out of hand. Was that her fault? Was there anything she could have done differently? She was starting to think that maybe there wasn’t, maybe Catra really was just a lost cause.

As she followed Mermista into the boat, she saw Sea Hawk at the wheel, and with a twirl of his moustache, he pointed her down the hall to her cabin. “Yours is the last door on the right, and I’d advise that you don’t go in the room next door,” Mermista warned in her trademark monotone. Adora thanked her and made her way to her room, with one half of her brain idly wondering why she shouldn’t go next door and the other half ready to collapse into her bed in a fit of indulgent self-pity.

Unfortunately, the curious half of her brain won out, and she found herself joining some dots while lying in her bed and staring at the ceiling. She hadn’t seen Sea Hawk on the boat with Mermista when they arrived, which means they must have come separately. In addition, she hadn’t seen Catra on her way out and there was nowhere else for her to go – in fact, there was no way she could have gotten to the Enchanted Grotto in the first place unless she had been chaperoned as well, and now that she thought about it, that would explain what Sea Hawk was doing here. So, if Catra most likely had to be with Sea Hawk, who was on the boat; she was somewhere out of Adora’s sight; and there was one room she’d been warned not to enter; then it all made sense: Catra was next door!

Oh. Catra was next door. Immediately, her doubts came flooding back – should she reach out to her, try again, or would that just make it worse?

Fuck it, she thought at last, she wouldn’t be able to screw it up any more than she already had. “Catra?” she tentatively called out – just to test her hypothesis out, she told herself. She didn’t really expect a reply, and she indeed got none.

Then, after a minute, in a small voice through the wall, “I don’t wanna talk to you right now.”

Adora let out a breath she hadn’t realised she was holding. “Catra? You’re there? I won’t force you to talk, but – I just want to know. What happened, what made you have a panic attack?”

She heard her shakily exhale, and then reply, voice still quiet, “You pulling away from me made me realise… I’d still been holding out hope that you could still…”

“Still what?” Adora asked nervously when Catra trailed off, earning no response. After a minute, she sighed and decided to try again. “Catra, I don’t mean to be accusatory, but every time we touch since I left the horde, you’ve always been the first to pull away.” She thought back, realising with every passing memory that she was correct. “You pushed me away when we saw the memories in the Beacon, you let go of me when you escaped the Princess Prom. I assumed you didn’t like it.”

“Is that why you let go?” Catra asked after another pause.

This time Adora paused, taking a moment to work out exactly how to word this. “I don’t think so. But… I think it is why I was surprised at how you reacted to it. I didn’t realise it was important to you, and I’m sorry for that. I’ll give you control next time, if you want.” She waited for a reaction, but it didn’t come immediately. The only noise she could hear was the soft lapping of waves against the side of the boat – they must have started moving – and Adora worried that Catra wouldn’t reply. Then, as soon as the silence started to become more than she could bear, she heard a very soft cough to her right.

Catra stood in the doorway, shifting nervously on the balls of her feet. “I get seasick, and the rocking’s worse in my cabin. Could I please stay in your bed with you?”

A flimsy excuse, they both knew. Catra offered her a weak smile, and Adora returned it warmly. “Of course,” she said, her voice soft. “And I won’t pull away.”

“You promise?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I did it! This chapter's a little shorter but I managed to work some (hopefully) funny background Seamista and Adora and Catra learning to communicate healthily!


End file.
